We're like a lot better than the average bears
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
