how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.