apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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