I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
...so i touched it.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
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yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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