she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
