she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
