i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I supernannyed him into submission
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
