people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
