worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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