I want to make a zoo with you.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
