I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize