So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
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we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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