well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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