doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
