butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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