She announced her abortion via fbk
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
