just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I have post one night stand depression
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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