I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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