Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Sorry about my life...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
