put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
