I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
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