Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
