Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
