This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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