Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
