I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize