Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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