I'm going to rape someone's good day.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
