week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
