My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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