Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
