Can i not drive my cunt home
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
