Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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