yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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