sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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