I didn't shave. On purpose
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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