even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
There r osticjed everywhere
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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