if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
this hospital has no fireball
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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