That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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