you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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