do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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