This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
