id be glad to
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
