The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
