How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize