when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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