Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
