the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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