She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
