and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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