6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
