this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
