he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
