Already got asked if we're dating
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.