the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.