I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind