Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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