I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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