I love black thongs
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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